Friday.

Hello everyone

so remember when I said I did a body combat class. Welllllllll. Basically my muscles are combating my body today. I can barely lift my legs to walk. Sitting on the toilet is a joke. I cry every time I have to pick up Ella. Please help.

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on a more positive note I got my hair done! Finally. I took the girls with me and it was interesting. Luckily a friend is just finishing the Aveda school and could do it at her house for me! Riley literally asked her for a snack like 5 times. She got one every time. Plus apple juice. Then asked to watch a movie. I’m like really Riley?! While getting foils put into my hair I was also nursing. Then had to put Ella down and pick her back up like 40 times. All while Jamie followed behind me holding my towel or my foils so I could do it. She is an angel. And my hair looks great!

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So after Riley’s psychotic breakdown about her picture day outfit the outfit she ended up wearing actually matches the backdrop a lot better and looks super cute. My little baby is growing up!!!!

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My poor sweet husband who has been caring for my staph infection just got it on his leg. Now he is on antibiotics to hopefully get rid of it. That staph is mean stuff! Ugh!!! Sleep boy!

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Today is Friday. Again! I feel like I just said that. The weeks go by so fast it’s scary! My Ella baby was 6 months old yesterday! 6 MONTHS OLD. Good lord I just had her like a week ago. It is so so crazy how fast the time goes!!! She will be a year in no time! I will have a 6 month picture of her to add tomorrow ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ I have baby fever again. My husband thinks I’m a lunatic. I’m just so obsessed with my children. I want to have more but I’m so f****** tired. Like I’m pretty sure these people with more than 4 kids are myths, or lying to us or are great legends that will live in history forever. Haha. I truly do want more kids but it is difficult for me emotionally/mentally. You know no one likes to talk about the postpartum part of child birth but it’s there and it’s real. And for some women it can be really tough. I want to share my experiences for you all because I don’t want you to think you are alone if you are experiencing it because you’re not!

I deal with a lot of anxiety on a normal day and I hate change. So my post partum experiences have been far from rainbows and butterflies. The minute they roll me out of the hospital in that wheel chair the tears and panic attacks begin. It’s like I get terrified to leave the hospital with this brand new human. It’s hard to explain the emotions I felt both times! I am instantly obsessed with my babies the minute they are placed on my chest and it’s not a regretful feeling I get, it’s just waves of terror that rush over me for no reason at any given time and it could be over anything. Cried and cried and cried. Fortunately for me it was something I was able to get through pretty quickly with the help of my sweet sweet husband, my mom and daily text messages to my bestie. People call it “baby blues”. And it’s rough stuff. My first pregnancy I had a really bad pregnancy rash called PUPPS. So weird and like the worst thing ever. Labor hormones make it spread. I was using steroid cream like crazy just coating myself in it. Well once I delivered the rash went away and I immediately stopped the cream. Well I started feeling very sick, scared, not eating, sad. After freaking out on my doctor and the emergency room telling them that I absolutely did not have postpartum depression they said I was having a steroid crash from all the cream I was using. So I was put back on steroids to wean myself off. I felt great after that. Then with my second pregnancy i started feeling the same way except this time I didn’t have a rash and I hadn’t been using steroid cream. I realized it was something that I would deal with after every delivery probably. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m your girl ๐Ÿ™‚ just wanted to put this link on here!

http://www.ravishly.com/2015/09/15/after-flowers-die-postpartum-reality

on a more positive note I’m watching Erin Brockovich and we all know how awesome that movie is. Is it weird that I’m married and have only 2 kids but sometimes when I’m grocery shopping or telling off Comcast I feel like Erin Brockovich. Like I’m a bad ass and a mom and I’ll kill you if you don’t give me my “promotional cable rate” back! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ

I hope I didn’t freak everyone out tonight with my mental issues lol sometimes ya just gotta keep it real.

Cheers to the weekend ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’—

-A

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